


distance makes the heart grow fonder

by Matrioschka



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:00:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27585773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Matrioschka/pseuds/Matrioschka
Summary: Based on Home Again from Far-Off Places, part 13 of the Accidental Warlord and his Pack series by inexplicifics.Right before he left for Skellige, Aiden and Lambert shared a night of... something. Aiden still wasn't sure what it was a night of.Now he has returned, and he does know what he wanted it to be a night of. Lambert, it seems, has found someone else to want a night of something with.
Relationships: Aiden/Lambert (The Witcher), Lambert (The Witcher)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 124





	1. The night of

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Home Again From Far-Off Places](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24976264) by [inexplicifics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inexplicifics/pseuds/inexplicifics). 



> This is inspired by Home Again from Far-Off Places by inexplicifics. You might understand it without reading that first, but I am borrowing her OC so maybe read that first. Also it's very good so read it anyways.

He closed the door behind him, shutting out the sound of Lambert’s snores. Knowing his friend, and how much he had drunk, he wouldn’t be awake for a few hours at least. 

Walking down the hall towards his room, he tried to avoid thinking about what had just happened, choosing instead to focus on tomorrow. He would be leaving for Skellige early in the morning on a special assignment for the White Wolf. He still had a few things he needed to prepare, adding some things to his bag and making sure none of the servants or his fellow Cats would mess with his stuff while he was away.

As he rounded the corner, thinking about any potions he may have forgotten to pack, he ran straight into Eskel, on his way to his own room near Lambert’s.  
Aiden had been hoping to avoid running into anyone, not feeling up to any human interaction at the moment. Running into Eskel was particularly bad, however. The older wolf would figure out what had happened immediately and Aiden could only hope he would be too tired for more than a passing “goodnight”.

“Aiden.”  
He had never had much luck.  
“Helped Lambert to bed?” He asked mildly. He took in Aiden’s appearance, from his hastily buttoned shirt and loose bootlaces. And then.  
His nostrils flared and his eyes sharpened. “Oh, I see...”  
Aiden's face was making a valiant attempt to redden, only deterred by the fact that he literally could not.  
“I was just... Lambert had- he had a lot to drink, and- well, we both had a lot to drink...”  
“It’s ok. I get it.” Eskel had a particular look in his eye as he said this, and his gaze softened.  
Aiden averted his eyes.  
“I’m just going back to my room. Have to leave early tomorrow.”  
“Yes of course. See you tomorrow then.”

Aiden stepped around the wolf, wanting to run away as fast as he could but also wanting to avoid embarrassing himself further.  
At least he would be able to escape Eskel’s watchful eyes and sharp nose in Skellige, leaving Lambert to deal with his questions while he was gone.

Still feeling very much embarrassed about the whole situation, he arrived at his own rooms, quickly taking his boots off and settling on his bed, too tired to deal with the rest of his clothes.  
He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, finally allowing himself to think. 

It was just his luck that his friend’s kind of, sort of, older brother would find him as he snuck away after a night of... well whatever. He wasn’t sure what it was a night of exactly.  
It had been enjoyable, for sure. The alcohol had definitely helped with that. But also, he remembered how Lambert had looked in the firelight of his room. The soft way he said his name and the smile he gave after, when Aiden covered him with a blanket and ran a hand through his hair before leaving.  
He remembered how his friend’s lips had felt on his, how his hands had felt on his waist and the softness of his hair under his own fingers.  
Feeling something in his stomach, he was still too tired and drunk and conflicted to put into words what the feeling was, he settled down more comfortably and closed his eyes. 

He really wanted to avoid thinking about what he had done. 

He didn’t usually feel this way, this unsure, especially not in relation to his best friend. At least he hadn’t since the first few times they had met, when he had to be very careful lest Lambert try to stab him. Which he had. Multiple times.

He had thought they were over this, this feeling so unsure. They had come a long way from their first meetings and stabbings, the long years working together proving that. Aiden had even thought, sometimes, briefly, and only during the nights where the world seemed too much to bear, that they could even move onto something different. He had never imagined, however, that this is how that would come to happen.  
Sure, he had thought about spending nights with Lambert before. The wolf was very attractive, but, he thought there would be more talking involved, and less alcohol.

He yawned, suddenly feeling like this was too much to think about. Hopefully tomorrow would bring him some answers.


	2. While in Skellige

So far, Skellige was not so bad. 

Aiden’s mission was simple: figure out what the situation in Skellige was. This meant knowing about any major concentration of monsters, any problems in the area and how they may affect the Witchers, keeping an ear out for interesting rumors, and figuring out what the general reception of Witchers in this part of the continent was like. 

Also, as a plus, he was to report back how any political action by the Wolf regarding Cintra would be taken by the current jarl, Crach an Craite. So far, he was not having much luck even though this was probably the most important part of his assignment. 

Mostly, he spent time taking contracts, moving slowly around the country, and keeping an ear out for any information he could gather without drawing too much attention to himself. 

Without the added political implications which gave him a headache, it felt just like the days before the White Wolf decided to go ahead and become the warlord of half the continent.

He worked or traveled during the day, and stayed in inns during the nights. The coin that had been given to him by Eskel before he left had been plentiful, and while it would not last forever, he could afford a few more luxuries than in the old days, specifically a hot meal, a hot bath and a warm bed. 

It was during the nights when he tried to gather the most information, often just from listening to the people gossiping around him. Even if all the information he could gather was who the butcher’s wife was sleeping with, the small entertainment was worth it. 

Aiden was rapidly learning the dialect, and while he found it absolutely horrid, he found it was easier to fit in with it, and also, he would then be able to teach Lambert all the new curse words he was learning. 

The only thing missing was good alcohol and good company. 

He hadn’t realized how attached he had become to the company of fellow Witchers in the short years living in Kaer Morhen. Time worked differently for Witchers, and Aiden felt like no time at all had passed since he would walk the Path alone. But now he found himself missing the company of his brothers and sisters, as well as the general company of Witchers themselves, with whom he didn’t have to hide the color of his eyes in case they decided to throw rocks at him, or who wouldn’t stop speaking when he entered a room, unless it was because they had put something foul on his bed and knew he now came for revenge. 

He had begun dreaming of the hot springs as soon as he saw the Skelligans running naked into the snow as a way of getting clean, and if he had to eat anymore of those sheep guts someone would definitely end up with a knife sticking out of their body. He missed the good food that Marlene made, and he missed laughing with Cedric and Axel, and training with Dragonfly. He missed the brawls, and playing Aard-the-Cat with Eskel instead of training, and he even missed getting his ass handed to him by the White Wolf. 

Most of all, he missed having someone who would understand what it felt like to feel a little mad sometimes. 

Despite it all, Aiden found himself refusing to think about the thing he actually missed the most, choosing instead to focus on the small things that made Skellige so bad. He really did try to find the positive, but on the nights when all he had to drink was cheap Skelligan liquor he allowed himself a few moments of angry contemplation.

So far, he had been able to keep himself from thinking about that last night in Kaer Morhen. Or at least, he had been able to keep from thinking about it insofar as one is able to avoid thinking about something they think about all the time. Tasked with monster hunting and finding out where the White Wolf stood amongst the Skelligans he didn’t have much time to think about Lambert, but everytime he was reminded of how awful this country was he thought about complaining to his friend. And anytime he heard a new curse word he made a mental note to teach it to his friend. And whenever he had to go deal with some sirens that were terrorizing whichever little coastal town he was passing through, he thought of Lambert and how he would call them “annoying fuckers”. 

In hindsight, Aiden was not doing a good job not thinking about Lambert. 

The thing was, he had been away for a year by now. Time had passed quickly, but it seemed that it had not been enough to bring him any clarity about where he stood with his best friend. Of course, it did not help that they hadn’t actually had any time to speak about it. Then again, this was Lambert he was talking about so maybe hoping for conversation was being too hopeful. But Aiden didn’t even know what he wanted to say to his friend. 

“Thanks for having great sex with me while we were both heavily alcoholized, and oh, by the way, I love you and have loved you since about the fifth time you stabbed me because I killed the drowner you were aiming for”?

Yeah. He wouldn’t be saying that. 

Ok, so maybe Aiden wasn’t doing such a good job completing his assignment. Was this his fault? No. He was simply giving Lambert space by taking more time than necessary to find the information he needed. Not that Lambert had asked for space. He probably didn’t even remember what had happened. Not like Aiden had stuck around long enough to find out. Anyways. The point was, Aiden would not be returning to Kaer Morhen yet. He still had information to gather and monsters to deal with. 

Speaking of which, he was arriving to a small town next to the coast, where he would hopefully find something on the notice board so that he could put aside all his thoughts about Lambert and focus on killing something today. Thankfully, luck was on his side today, and he quickly gathered information about the sirens that seemed to be terrorizing the fishermen. He got a dinky little boat from one of them, and off he went into the ocean to find the fuckers. 

Perhaps he had not given this much thought. The whole objective of the day was to distract himself from the Lambert problem. Now, however, he was sitting on a dinky fucking little boat, a ways away form the shore, waiting for the fucking sirens to show up, with nothing to distract him. Seems like Aiden didn’t actually have any luck, or any foresight, after all. 

So there he was, in the middle of the water, on a little boat, waiting for sirens that should be showing up but weren’t. Still, he kept his crossbow ready and an ear out for any beautiful singing. What he heard was not the beautiful voice of a maiden trying to drag him to the bottom of the sea and drown him. It was, however, a very loud, very low-pitched sound that seemed to resonate from the bottom of the boat, making the whole thing vibrate. It was also, impossibly, getting much louder. 

On full alert by now, Aiden was standing, turning in all directions looking for the source of the noise. Water splashed behind him, and it was only the gracefulness that came with being a Cat that kept him from capsizing as he quickly turned around, craning his neck back until it hurt to see the thing that had risen from the ocean. It had blue-green scales, and glistening fins. It was so long, it could have easily wrapped itself around Kaer Morhen twice. The most surprising thing of all was that, after reaching an adequate height, it just stayed there, unmoving amongst the clouds, looking down at Aiden. Not just looking down at him but seeing him, with dark blue eyes colder than the ocean itself, that seemed to go right through him. It was the most beautiful thing Aiden had ever seen in his life, as well as the most terrifying, and he was completely still, not even breathing so as to not interrupt this moment, which held a very important significance that Aiden did not yet understand. 

The beast was still looking at him, and Aiden thought they may stay like this for eternity, until, seeming to have gotten what it wanted, the serpent was diving back down into the ocean, coming down on the other side of Aiden’s boat. He raised a hand to avoid the water getting into his eyes, not wanting to miss any opportunity to observe the creature, but it was not necessary. The water moved as if it had a will of its own, opening itself up for the serpent, not a single splash hitting him or his boat. 

Aiden was still unmoving, his hand still raised above his face, his eyes fixed on the spot where the beast had disappeared, waiting for something, he didn’t know what, to happen. But then he turned around, looking for someone who would say to him: “Did you see that? Did you see how it looked at you?”, and that way make this whole experience real. But there was no one there. It was just Aiden, on his dinky fucking little boat and a serpent that was long gone by now and sirens that would not show up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still envisioning only one more chapter for this, hopefully it will be up by the end of the week. 
> 
> Let me know what you think :)


	3. A realization

It had been a particularly good day. Aiden had just finished a contract, which, while lengthy, had been surprisingly easy and brought in a good bit of coin. He had not had to deal with any prejudicial attitude towards Witchers, and he had not gotten injured nor had his clothes gotten too muddied. So it was in good spirits that he headed to the latest inn, where he would be getting a hot meal, a hot bath and later, a nice place to sleep.

What he did not expect for the evening however, was finding himself in the company of a very nice young woman, intent on getting her hands on his cock. 

Was he in any way against this turn of events? No. Definitely not. It had been a long time since he had not needed to “take matters into his own hand”, so to speak. But, and this was something that he would not be admitting to himself any time soon, he had also been actively avoiding the company of anyone else. 

Of course, this had absolutely nothing to do with a certain Wolf in Kaer Morhen. 

So here he was, leaning against a door, with a very lovely woman standing in front of him, kissing him and making him forget all the bad things Skellige had to offer.  
The only problem, however, was that he was not enjoying himself as much as was usual. This had nothing to do with Emeline, who was doing quite a good job with her hands. It had everything to do with the fact that her hands were small and smooth, instead of large and rough. And her body was curvy beneath his hands, with soft breasts instead of a hard chest. 

He tried to hide this, this yearning for having someone else under his hands, kissing him and touching him. He tried to shove those thoughts aside and focus on kissing Emeline back with ferocity. What he got instead was the image of Lambert on his bed on that last night at Kaer Morhen, that had him coming with no warning and calling out his best friend’s name. 

For a second he hoped maybe Emeline hadn’t noticed, but the tensing of her shoulders and the stilling of her hands let him know she had, and was now waiting for an explanation. 

“Did you just say Lambert?”

“I’m sorry. I was just-”

“No it’s fine.” Her eyes were twinkling. “You may not have been the only one with someone else on their mind.” 

He was speechless for a moment, and then laughed loudly and fondly, letting the tension seep out of him and bumping his forehead against hers. “I’m glad then. Do you still want me to return the favor?”

“Oh definitely.” She was prompt in leading them to the bed, and guiding him down to his knees in front of her. He focused on the task at hand, enjoying the feel of her legs underneath his hands, and the sweet smell that had only intensified in the last hour. All thoughts about Lambert were replaced with thoughts of making Emeline feel good. 

It wasn’t until much later that she asked. They were laying side by side on her bed, sweating from exertion and feeling overall lazy. 

“So… who’s Lambert?”

He turned his head towards her, eyeing her before saying, “a friend”. 

“Doesn’t sound like a friend if you’re calling out his name while there’s a hand on your cock.”

“He’s a special friend.” 

She looked at him, “So what are you doing in Skellige? I thought all the Witchers were holed up in the North.”

“Not all of us. Some are more of the antisocial type than most.”

“And are you one of those types?” She was teasing him. 

“I don’t know, what do you think?”

“I think not. Don’t know many antisocial types who have a ‘special friend’ they think about during sex.”

“You’re funny.”

“I try.”

“I have business in Skellige.” Not a lie but also not the real truth. “I’ll be heading back as soon as I’m done.”

“And when will that be?”

“What are you getting tired of me? We only met a couple of hours ago you know.”

She gave him a look. 

“I don’t know yet. When my business is done.”

She wasn’t convinced, and made no attempt to hide it. 

Aiden wasn’t the type to go pouring his heart out to people he barely knew. He considered himself to be friendly, sure, but even he knew that not everyone could be trusted. It didn’t hurt to be a Witcher in these cases, where his heightened senses gave him an idea of whether someone may have any bad intentions. From what he had seen of Emeline so far, he wasn’t so worried. He was also pretty sure she wouldn’t go babbling about this to anyone, something about her seemed trustworthy to him.  
So he told her. 

He told her about Lambert, and coming to Skellige, and how it had been both a mission (though he still didn’t tell her what that was about) and also a means of escape. He didn’t call it an escape, however, emphasizing that it had more to do with giving Lambert space than needing to avoid talking to him in fear of rejection. Which he didn’t have. At all. 

He was in the middle of telling her a story about how he ended up with Lambert’s knife sticking out of his arm during the early stages of the friendship when she interrupted him. 

“You should go back.”

“What?”

“To Lambert. You should go back.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I have- my assignment, I still have things to do.”

“So finish it. I don’t know what it’s about but it can’t take that long can it?”

“Well no, but-”

“Look, you clearly want to go back and are just too much of a coward to do so.”

“A coward?!”

“Yes.”

“I’m not a coward.”

“Sure you are. That’s why you’re here isn’t it?”

“I’m here because I have-”

“Yes, a mission I know. But listen. I just spent a while listening to you speak about your friend and let me tell you, there’s nothing friendly about the way you talk about him. At some point, you gotta realize that you can either stay pining, or do something about it. And anyways you already slept with him, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Aiden didn’t really have an answer to that so instead he turned back towards her, wrapped his hand in her red hair and kissed her. All conversation stopped after that. 

He left town the next day. Regardless of what Emeline thought about how he should handle the Lambert situation, her words did have him worried about completing his assignment. The White Wolf needed the information he was collecting and that was the whole reason Aiden was in Skellige. So, feeling a bit like he had let his own personal problems get in the way of his duty, he decided to speed up and find what he had come looking for. 

It was time to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emeline is ginger, I headcanon Lambert as ginger. Coincidence? I think not. 
> 
> Turns out this will be longer than three chapters, probably four but I make no promises.


	4. Sacrifice

The thing about Milena was this. He wanted to hate her. He wanted to hate her so much. But. 

She made Lambert happy.

Aiden was not blind nor stupid. He was well aware of what his friend was like, truly like. He was prickly, and volatile, and more than half the words that came out of his mouth were curses. He was rude and he could even be downright hateful if he wanted to be. But behind his tough exterior, his hard shell of unpleasantness, all he wanted was to be judged for who he actually was as a person, not as a Witcher. The way that Lambert faced the world was through a reactionary response. The world hated him, so he would hate it right back. Anyone else may think that Lambert was simply unlikeable, and not bother to look past that. But truly his friend was simply tired. Tired of all the things the world threw at him due to the simple fact of his existence. So he protected himself the only way he knew how, keeping everyone away from him before they realized he was not worth getting close to. 

Aiden had experienced this first hand. He had been stabbed at least five times before being given Lambert’s name, and a couple more times after that. 

But the thing was, it had never truly harmed him. Lambert, despite his unease at meeting a new Witcher who had quickly proven to be of a similar skill-level, had never intended to do him permanent damage. It helped of course that during their first meeting Aiden had jumped in, helping Lambert get out of a fight he was losing against a Griffin. All the wounds he had sustained afterwards, by the same Witcher’s knife, had only been meant as warnings that he was getting too close for comfort, and that he should back off. 

Only Aiden hadn’t. 

So the thing was, if Milena was still around, that meant she hadn’t either. Of course, Aiden doubted that Lambert had resorted to the same kind of warnings he had used on Aiden with the little noblewoman. But even then it was doubtful that he hadn’t resorted to being his most unpleasant self around her, which, as far as Aiden was concerned, was very unpleasant, at least to the untrained eye. 

This meant that no matter how Lambert had behaved when they first met, Milena had been able to see past it, just as Aiden had. And, how could Aiden begrudge her for that? How could he, when all he wanted for his friend was for the rest of the world to see him as Aiden saw him? How could he not weep for joy at finding someone who would love Lambert just as Aiden did, thorns and all?

The answer was, he couldn’t. 

And Aiden hated that he couldn’t. 

***

His last few months in Skellige had been painful. His conversation with Emeline had allowed him to recognize what he truly felt for Lambert. He loved him. He loved him deeply enough that whenever he thought of him his heart ached, and he felt he would not be able to breathe until he saw him again, and more than once he felt compelled to run all the way back home. Of course, Aiden couldn’t hurry to Kaer Morhen, as he still had unfinished business in Skellige. As soon as this was done however, just like a moth drawn to flame, he was drawn to the Keep, where he could only hope Lambert would be waiting for him. 

Aiden had been waiting for so long to see him that it didn’t even matter that he still had no idea what to say when they met. It didn’t even matter if Lambert did not love him back. All that mattered was that he loved Lambert, and he would not rest until he told him. 

These were the thoughts that guided him as he traveled. Each step brought him closer to his friend, so despite the occasional exhaustion, Aiden would continue on his Path until he stood in front of Lambert and let him know just how much he loved him. 

But the journey back to Kaer Morhen is a long one, and Aiden had ample time to doubt himself. How could he face Lambert now, almost two years after he had left without even saying goodbye? 

He was now approaching the last part of the Killer and the pit in his stomach had nothing to do with the heights and all to do with unresolved questions. 

Aiden briefly thought of turning back, both to avoid facing Lambert and to return to Emeline to beg for her advice on what exactly he should say to the other Witcher. It was too late for this, as surely one of the patrols or someone on watch would have spotted him by now. Also, he did have important information to share with the Council, and he had enough sense of duty to put aside his personal issues in order to finish his assignment. 

It was a relief that the first people he met were Cedric and Axel, his brothers, who were as happy to see him as he was to see them. They immediately put him at ease, their banter relaxing him and making him realize that he was home. Walking between them, Axel holding his pack, Aiden thought that, whatever happened next with Lambert, at least he had a home now, and brothers and sisters and friends who cared for him, and wouldn’t let him be alone anymore. It was comforting, especially considering how much he had to lose if things with Lambert didn’t go well.  
His relief only lasted until they mentioned the Wolf himself. 

They had been catching him up to all he had missed during his two years away, and while some of the gossip was interesting, especially that part about the White Wolf and Eskel and the songbird (Aiden had not seen that coming), he was most surprised with what they had to say about Lambert and his “pretty swan”.

“...Lambert got a pet?” It seemed very unlikely. His friend, Aiden was not afraid to say, did not have the temperament for a pet. Much less a swan.   
“Nah, if you call her that he’ll probably try and gut you. Got a lover.”

He had no evidence, but his heart had surely stopped as soon as they said this. 

A lover? Lambert had gotten a lover? 

If the news about Geralt and Eskel and the songbird had been surprising this was… It was inconceivable. Aiden couldn’t even imagine it. Not Lambert, not his asshole friend who was not meant to get a lover while Aiden was away, but who was meant to… to what? 

Perhaps if Aiden didn’t feel as though his heart was all the way back at the bottom of the Killer he would have realized how selfish he was being. But he didn’t. Because it was not possible that while he fucked off in Skellige for two years his friend... moved on? Was there anything to move on from? And it was also impossible that after all Aiden had gone through to realize how much he loved the prickly bastard the prickly bastard had   
gone on to love someone else. 

He didn’t say any of this, however. 

“Lambert. Prickliest asshole this side of a hedgehog. Swears like a sailor. That Lambert. Has a lover.” Is what he said instead. 

“Yep. Sweet little thing, too. Noblewoman out of Redania. Milena, her name is.”

And that was even worse. He didn’t want to know the name of Lambert’s lover, and he didn’t want to know that she was a sweet little noblewoman, someone who would be able to offer so much more to Lambert than Aiden ever could. 

But. It did seem very unlikely. 

“You’re having me on.”

This had to be a joke. It’s not unlike his brothers to play these kinds of jokes on him. And it was definitely more believable that they had come up with a fake noblewoman to mess with Aiden than it was that Lambert had met a noblewoman, fallen in love with her, had her fall in love with him, and been able to speak with her about it enough that they were now lovers. 

This had to be a joke, because Lambert didn’t have lovers. Thinking that this was a joke had nothing to do with how much it had hurt to hear that Lambert had a lover. It was just… logical, for this to be a joke. And Aiden believed himself to be a logical being. So. This had to be a joke. 

***

Seeing Lambert again had been a punch to the gut. The wind had been knocked out of him, nevermind the fact that no one touched him. There was his friend, sitting right where he should be on the Wolf’s table. Lambert hadn’t seen him yet, and Aiden hadn’t done anything to attract his attention, wanting the chance to just look at him before going up to greet him. 

It was as he was doing just that, taking his friend in from his own seat at the Cat’s table, using the opportunity to remember all of the little details of his face. From the way his scars looked in the firelight, to the way his eyes shone at something Eskel, sitting next to him, said. He looked at his red hair, longer since the last time they had seen each other, but still looking just as messy as always, and his soft smile as he ate. There was almost something… different, about him. He seemed, maybe, happier? The usual scowl was gone, and he seemed to actually be listening to the conversation happening around him, and when he did speak it was easily, not combatively as was his custom. 

And Aiden wanted to go up to him and kiss that stupid smile off his face and learn what exactly had made him change and relearn what Lambert was like, after all this time apart. 

It was as he was debating the merits of doing this, and how likely it was that Lambert would just punch him, when the Wolf stood up and walked down his table, towards Merigold and an unknown woman. And then he gathered the mystery woman in his arms and sat on her seat with her on his lap. 

And Aiden sunk back into his seat from where he had been getting up.

Had the whole “Lambert got a lover” thing not been a joke then? Had it been the truth the whole time? He looked around the room, hoping someone else had seen and was feeling just as bewildered as he had. But no one had any reason to look at Lambert as Aiden did, and even if they did, would they have found this behaviour strange? Merigold, the only one to see this happening, as it was happening right fucking next to her, only rolled her eyes and chuckled. 

“What the fuck.”

Aiden felt a hand land on his shoulder, and he turned back to his fellow Cats, who were all looking at him. 

“Lambert and his pretty swan-maid. We told you.” Axel supplies. 

And maybe this is a question born of desperation but he has to know. “Are we sure she’s not a sorceress? Part-succubus? Something else with compulsion powers?” Something he can get rid of?

The answer, of course, was no. 

***

She was not scared of him. She looked at him, at his natural eyes and his medallion and his whole Witcher-being self, and she was not scared of him. At all. 

This was a problem. 

It was a huge problem because Aiden respected those who could stand to look at him and do so with no fear in their eyes. But he didn’t want to respect her. Not when she was standing with Lambert’s arm around her shoulder, looking at Aiden while Lambert looked down at her with soft eyes. 

He reconsidered his previous thoughts about her being something with compulsion powers. Because that would be better than the simple fact that Lambert had gone and fallen in love with someone else, while all Aiden had been able to do since they saw each other last was think of him. 

During his first interaction with Milena, Aiden was not able to look at Lambert. Not more than a few glances. He would much rather look into the admittedly lovely face of the woman who had stolen his friend from him than look at his friend only to find him absorbed in her. Aiden would at least be spared that pain if no other.

Of course, however, Lambert did want to catch up with him. 

It made sense. They had been friends a long time, last meeting and what it meant for their friendship notwithstanding. 

But now everything has changed. They’d had sex, Aiden had left without saying goodbye, Aiden had realized he was in love with Lambert, returned to confess his love to Lambert, and throughout it all, the stupid man had gone and fallen in love with Milena. 

The worst part of all of this was that Aiden could only blame himself. Looking back on the time before he left for Skellige, it was obvious to himself that he had been in love with Lambert for a while, perhaps since the first time Lambert stabbed him. But he had been unable to see this, and later he had been unable to speak with Lambert after the night they shared, choosing to flee the country and stay away for longer than had been truly necessary. Most of all, he had been a fool to believe that Lambert would wait for him. 

What did Aiden have to offer to the other Witcher?

During his journey back from Skellige he had pondered this same question many times, always coming to the conclusion that he would be so lucky if Lambert chose to keep being his friend once he knew how Aiden truly felt. And if Lambert didn’t love him back, Aiden would take whatever he could get, even if this meant only achieving a level of closeness found during the night behind closed doors that came from loneliness and trust, more than love. 

Aiden had made peace with getting what he could get from Lambert.

He had not expected to encounter such an important obstacle to this as Milena.

Because not only did this mean that he had no chance of being loved back by Lambert, he had no chance of staying as his friend either.   
What use did Lambert have for a beat up Cat anyways, when he had a lovely little noblewoman who clearly loved him and was actually able to say it?

So Aiden told Lambert about his time in Skellige. He told him about the bad food and the bad alcohol, and how much he had missed the hot springs. And he told him about the more interesting contracts he had taken, and what the political situation looked like down there. He told him about the sea serpent.

Lambert in turn told him about Milena. He spoke of her with a look in his eye that made Aiden’s heart ache. He spoke of how she had come to the Keep accompanying her awful sister, how they had gotten closed over knife training and braiding lessons. How fearful he had been when she was taken. 

And through it all, Aiden could only think to himself, what was the point of loving someone who would be gone way before you were? 

Aiden was not stupid. He knew that he and Lambert could be ripped from this life very easily, had lived with this knowledge since the moment they met, when Lambert had almost died fighting a Griffin too big for one Witcher to handle. But then the Warlord thing had happened, and Aiden had allowed himself to think that perhaps he and Lambert would actually see old age together, even if it was only as friends. 

Despite how much he wanted to hate Milena, and be glad that her fragile mortality meant she would only be a blip in Lambert’s lifetime, Aiden cared more about Lambert’s happiness than he did his own. 

So. He would endure Milena and Lambert being in love with each other. He would be the best friend he could be to Lambert, and he would be nothing other than pleasant to Milena, both in words and in heart. If she made Lambert happy, then she deserved nothing other than his profound appreciation, and certainly not his anger. 

And he would wait, until she inevitably left this world and Lambert behind, and he would be there for his friend while he mourned, and afterwards… well. Perhaps he could revisit his love. 

In the meantime, however, he would ignore it. He would bury it deep within, forget about it, cover it up with friendship, for it was friendship what Lambert needed now and would need for the next years.

Aiden had been pretty confident that he would tell Lambert how he felt once he came home. That had been the main reason to come home. But...

It was one thing to be rejected by a Lambert who had no lover. There might be some awkwardness, but Aiden was pretty sure that their friendship would prevail regardless. To be rejected by a Lambert who did have a lover however. Lambert would have no need for him after that. Not with Milena right here in the Keep. 

So Aiden would not tell him. Not yet anyway. Not while Milena was still around and not while Lambert had more reasons to reject him. 

It would be better this way. This way, Lambert would be happy. It was logical to wait. And if perhaps it made him a coward to keep his love to himself out of fear of losing more than he was capable of losing... 

Well. Emeline had been right in calling him a coward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very sorry about the delay for this chapter, it gave me a lot of trouble while writing it. 
> 
> Also sorry about the ending but it had to be done. 
> 
> All of the dialogue of this chapter is taken directly from Home Again from Far-Off Places by inexplicifics, Inex, if you're reading this, hope you liked it and thank you for inspiring me to write this.


End file.
